Friday, July 31, 2015

First Word: Suzanne Adam: Temptation

It is sitting right in front of me on a plate. Chocolate. Temptation with a capital T. What’s left at this stage of my life? Love affairs or designer clothes have no appeal. The word temptation hints at something harmful or naughty, to be avoided. To give in to it is considered a sign of character weakness. Heaven forbid!
            Yet, I do have a bucket list. No harm in wishing. I doubt there are any dark temptations on my list of things yet to do or accomplish. I’ve never written my list down. It simply drifts in my head. Oh, the satisfaction in crossing kayaking off my list. And what fun (and hard work for my stiff joints)! I never thought my long-in-the-works memoir would see the light of day. But there it is! Just checked off my list a return visit to hike in the Torres del Paine National Park. I say “checked” rather than “crossed off”. At my age it’s not unusual to think: “Well, this is the last time I’ll be doing this.” But then a hopeful inner voice murmurs: “You never know.”
            I must retract my earlier claim of my single chocolate temptation. As I write, a daily temptation comes to mind – telling that unpleasant someone what I actually think of him/her. I must retrain myself from saying ---- you. I give vent to that ugly urge when I’m driving alone and no other driver lets me change lanes. No one to hear me. Or alone in the kitchen when the soup boils all over the stove. I swear at uneven sidewalks (damn city) that trip me up. My repertoire of swear words is limited. In the presence of others, I control the urge and mentally rearrange my feelings to express them in a sociably-acceptable and inoffensive way.
            When the Chilean earth suddenly jolted under my feet, I discovered I have a not-very-nice Spanish swear word in my vocabulary. It surprised me more than anyone, when it leapt off my tongue.
No, I’m not revealing it.

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